The 2nd DNF of my career and I'm probably the most annoyed with myself I have ever been.  There was nothing wrong with me, I was prepared and focused.  Everything was ready to go and I knew what I had to do.

One small teeny weeny problem.... I can't race for toffee.  

I seem to have a section of my brain missing.  You would think that, turning up at a race and realising it was pretty windy, would have been enough for any normal sensible athlete to say, well ok, don't worry if your splits are a few seconds down.  It's going to be damaging later in the race if you try and fight it too much.

But no,  rather than take this into account, instead I do the opposite.  I go haring off, sprinting away at the start.  Pushing harder and harder that first mile.  Even without the headwind, 5:14 for the first mile is absolutely ridiculous.  Especially for a 4:30 1500m runner in a half marathon.

I then realise I am running a little quick and slow down a little but I am still fighting into the wind, forcing myself to run at target pace, rather than relaxing and attempting to recover as much as I can so I may salvage my race.

I was knackered by 3 miles, my head was down and I could hardly lift my legs and I dropped out at 8 miles after slipping outside 6 min miling.

I cannot begin to say what on earth was going through my mind at the start.  I have always been a fast starter but this was the worst ever, in my whole career.  A complete waste of an opportunity.

Training is completely pointless if I only ever race like a fool.

I'm so fed up of myself.

It's like working really hard, and earning lots of money...and then spending it on rubbish......a complete waste of time.