Another week of training has gone by and it's still a case of ploughing out the miles, even though the big mileage hasn't even started yet. I had a rough start to the week, feeling a bit tired and not even being able to finish my session on Tuesday. Things did pick up though, and I was really pleased with the work I put in towards the end of the week.

I find it very easy to go too fast at this point of the season because I get worried I'm unfit and not in the same shape I was in last year, then that leads to me thinking I'm not as fast as last year. It's stupid I know, but I can't help thinking it because I put a lot of expectation on myself, especially after last years performances. In a nutshell, I get worried I'm not fit so do my runs too fast, then get tired, and then stop sessions because I'm tired, and then do my runs even faster because I think I'm unfit but actually tired, see where I'm going with this? I've been in this process twice before. the first one was after the European cross last year coming back from illness, and the second was after the World cross at the start of the track season. It's a horrible viscous cycle, and with the 6 stage relays right around the corner, this week saw me panic about not being in shape so I entered this cycle. On Monday, at one point of my run I was running at sub-6 minute miling, which didn't feel too hard, but when I'm getting fit again is not a clever idea as it is a bit harder to recover from. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be able to do my runs at sub-6 minute miling, but at this stage it's slightly over-ambitious. Inevitably, this was still in my legs on the Tuesday session and I ended up stopping. However, I quickly broke this cycle and cooled down the pace on Wednesday, which lead to a great acceleration run on Thursday and a better session on Saturday. I try not to monitor the pace on my runs just so I don't start racing the watch (how ironic!), but judge them by how I feel, and I definitely felt better and more relaxed on Wednesday.

Mentally, Tuesday was a bit of a blow. That was the second high intensity workout in a row I stopped, and you know what they say, once you start dropping out it gets easier and easier. There's only one way in my book to get out of this habit, tough out the pain and be prepared to hurt yourself, a lot! Staying strong in the mind is just as important as a strong body. If I started finishing high intensity stuff again, then I would be able to get to where I wanted. Therefore it was essential I finish the Thursday run and Saturday session. Admittedly I still got the thought of dropping out during both sessions, but like I said, you just have to fight and be prepared to hurt. On Thursday I was so close to stopping during mile 5, but I managed to get through and then all of a sudden mile 6 felt like a piece of piss. Saturday, when the chest was hurting, the thought crept in again, but I never came close to slowing down. With Steve taking the pace it made things a lot easier, if I was by myself I definitely would have stopped.

I've started feeling in place again during the back end of the week and this should get rid of the panic in my mind. But I still need to get some nuts and stay tough during the sessions. I also need to make sure I keep a cool head during runs, but no matter how many times Steve tells me, the only one who can control it is me.

Thanks for the read,

Goolab xxx