Apologies for the delay, regarding the writing of the blog. I had envisaged a lot more free time when I got back to Edinburgh, but I'm back working full time and so don't really have an awful lot of free time anymore.

Anyway, I'm back from Kenya five weeks now. Things probably couldn't have gone any worst if I'm being honest.  Back working full time means I'm on my feet for 9+ hours during the day, trying to fit the two daily training session around this is much harder now, than when before I left as I think I was just used to the grind of it. Having spend most of the days lying down relaxing in Kenya watching DVD's it's a shock to the system to be back working again.

I got back on a Saturday and on the Tuesday I did a Vo2 max test for Zac at Napier University in Edinburgh in their high performance labs'. I scored a higher mark than I had ever recorded before, so this gave me some confidence.

The day after I was back to work for the first time, and I felt awful. I couldn't work out why, because I was fine the day before. I had to take a few days off training, and went to the Doctor, who thought I had Malaria.

I usually don't take antibiotic's unless it's un-avoidable. I knew I didn't have malaria, as I would have been much worst. Looking back now I perhaps should just have taken them, as it took me two weeks to start feeling good again. Within those two weeks I missed 8 days of running.

To miss eight days from 21 in the lead up to the Euro Trials was a lot, but I re-assured myself that I had 10 weeks of great training behind me and it wouldn't take too much out of me for the race, but how wrong I was, as you can see from my latest race report.

Being back working has also aggravated some old injuries that I thought I was over.  But standing all day has had a negative effect on my calf. It's the same injury I had earlier in the year when I tore a tendon. Right now it's hit and miss weather I'll be able to train from day to day, but I'm trying to be positive about it because I know I'll get it fixed once and for all, hopefully sooner rather than later.

So after I returned I got ill with what the Doctor suspected was Malaria but it turned out to be a chest infection and the flu, that knocked me for a while, and when I did start training again I managed to aggravate a calf tendon.

Not exactly the text book return from altitude I was hoping for. I could moan about how it's all gone horribly wrong for me, but what good would that do. Sometimes now when I'm out running, and thinking about how I'm not racing this weekend at the Euro Champs, I get frustrated and all I want to do is scream my head off, but again what good would that do.

The day after  the race I was speaking to a friend whom I hadn't seen in a while and she told me her dad had a heart attack and was in a coma with suspected brain damage. When someone tells you something like that it puts everything into perspective. Who gives a s**t that I didn't make the team, it's only a sport at the end of the day. That might sound like I don't care. I do care, I'd give almost anything to be competing Sunday, but I'm not so it's time to get over it.

The bubble has burst and I'm back to the reality I managed to escape for 10 weeks. The real world doesn't always pan out as we want it to. You can't protect yourself from everything. I got sick and I reckon it cost me a place on the start line Sunday, that's a reality I've accepted. I've accepted it, because I have to there is no other option for me.

Sorry if that sounds like I'm ranting, maybe I am. Finally best of luck to all the Irish teams competing this weekend in Slovenia. Also best of luck to Ryan, Derek Hawkins and Matthew Gillespie over the weekend.

Thanks for reading